Well life has been really cruel and now that I am tired I realized it’s just a beginning .Sometimes I really wish for a thing and never get it, he always snatches away things and then I hope that there might something better but sometimes i fee cannot pretend to be strong anymore and want to burst out. All I have in one room where I can cry and shout closing my mouth with the pillow and then go out with a smile like I never cried in my life, I don’t like doing that. There is a child inside me which is still crying out loud, I don’t know what to do. Oh! Lord please doesn’t be so harsh with me...
I feel a burden inside -a huge one, it’s like a war between two people and both are Me it pains yes it does and its difficult to pretend. Because I know who I was, I know who I am, there has been a big change whether it is for good or bad I have no clue.
Sometimes I step out of crowd and see everyone, people who are happy, people who are sad, people who are hiding, people who are scared and sometimes I meet people who are your support, who care for you, people who are jealous, who are proud and some who want to let you down and when I am in between such people I just think who I am.
Waiting to feel a sense of completeness in life which I think is somewhere missing. Need to revive myself before I loose it completely. Need to be happy from inside, Need not to lie to myself , Need to push myself which is missing I cannot be too dependent on others for this I need to push myself to anything. Need to talk more to myself and need alone time to think and reflect, to know myself better and yes need to share things I have 1280 friends on face book and unable to speak to anyone of them. Well and yes last but not the least need trust faith and HIM.
I know you like hurting me, I am waiting and waiting for you to again hit me hard, make me stronger but you will still find me smiling.

The Real World

I remember a saying that i saw in a movie-
''Tum ashudh ho sadh chuke ho''
''you are impure ,you are rotten from inside''
i never realized how true it was until now......
People around us are fake.This world revolves around a kind of ''give and take process''.People are with you till you are of use and then they throw you because after a period of time you cant give anything to them.People come to this world for making friends but i question what is FRIENDSHIP?.We are just living in the world of illusion.

People write theories on friendship and love but i feel both of them are just words nothing else cause friends changes....Love changes only one thing remains YOU and your GOD.Love and friendship between you and your god remains forever rest everything dies away.

Your life is a story full of sad and happy moments,full of friends,love,faith.Friends go away , love vanishes but FAITH remains.Even if 100 of people ditch you.Your faith always remain faith that this will not happen again....faith that you will start a new life and start a fresh.

This faith gives meaning to life rest everything is just add on adding spices to your life.where Love and friends exist betrayal follows so be prepared with all your weapons and shield your emotions. Don't let anything effect you.

Last but not the least ''EXPECTATIONS''.It can make you alive or destroy you.No matter how much people say don't expect but expectation never dies,that time you should realize you came to this world alone,you will go alone.even if people will cry for you for two days they will not remember you for long.Expect less this is the 1st thing you should learn in life and live with it.

Trust me you aren't running away.You are just aware about the truth of the world and living in a real world.So whenever you feel like loosing it always remember.I am not God but always there for you.

hmmm facing one of the biggest challenge right now.Yes its tough for me.Sometimes u are demotivated but still u have to motivate others,You are numb but you have to make people laugh,You are tensed but you have to cope up with pressure.Yes sometimes i am sacred ,scared if i will be able to do it and the answer is i cant cause its not just me its the people with me which i called a TEAM,yes they are the ones who motivates me,i see them i see myself 1 year back when i was in there position.
I want to do soo much for them but i guess i have less time left, i want to see all of them as leaders who will be there when i come back to my place someday.
Til that time alot has to be done ,a lot of hard work, alot of patience , alot of hope.
My dream will remain here and i know one day till will be fulfilled i feel as if i am nearing to it.

MILES TO GO....

Its been long that i have written blog....well its been long and my life has taken a weird turn...after a long series of stupid love stuff which i wrote randomly now at least there is something now that i can write about.The one WORD that changed my life completely i feel ALIVE now.Dont know how days are passing by life is running fast. I dnt want December to come cause i want to stay here. Now moving on with out it is something i cant even think about it gave a meaning to my life.


It has been the most amazing and life changing journey..met many people who touched my life, came to know more about me, made FRIENDS, Felt Passion still feeling it,saw hardships,tasted BLOOD, saw life what it is....

Fear that how will i leave, Excited and believe that one day i will be proud,Believe that one day we will taste success, one day it will be our TIME.Want to see it happening in front of me.Living for something.Till that time cnt rest.Sounds stupid to some but i dont know this is how I feel.

I was BORN here, Its INSIDE me,i CRIED here,i... i dunno i will gain or loose from it but this journey has been awesome till now.I cnt leave the track i am on the race.
I AM HERE NOW & I WILL BE HERE FOREVER....

Miles to go...

So finally a tear rolled down from my eyes today..a pang of pain again......i thought my life was going perfect.i dunno whats happening is it going smoothly or am i just fooling myself.....for the past few days i have been keeping very busy so busy that i don’t have time to think to refect to whats going on in my life..... i guess i am out of love...i guess i was fooling myself.but i am scared to love the more i step forward towards love the more pain i get... but the more i run away the more it is back to me.....
I feel empty...cnt feel love...cnt feel being loved.i dnt know why.......same old thing everday smile and make people laugh but within situation is getin worse.
Today again a tear rolled down never thought it will..i am not sure of what im feeling right now...but one thing is for sure something is not right.
I have everything in life right now..my work, my friends.but what is missing then??
I guess i need peace which is missing peace with in,peace with my mind and soul...
I think i cnt love now its over from my heart....im not getting that love that i crave for...still feeling so much alone.stil closed in this four walls and waiting for some1 to break open the door and save my soul.....still waiting for THE ONE... please god where he is just send him to me before i die..........

Life is so much complicated... at least i agree im not mature enough to handle it.... we feel depressed, we feel alone, as if nothing is going right, nothing is going according to our will as if our life is ending here and we curse god, ‘’ why my life is like this, why cant it be normal just like others.’’
We tend to forget that life is still better for us and its worst for many others in this world...cant help it human nature...
Life is magical...its a beautiful gift that god has given us... living in this world seeing the nature around, having your family besides u, sometimes you are happy, sometimes you are sad...its like we are in a magical world..
Ya sometimes things aren’t right...... life is a journey and we all are the members in this journey, there are no short cuts and we have to keep on walking crossing all the hurdles, overcoming hardships. Some people get tired and they stop in between, some people give up cant take it anymore and there are people who carry on walking enjoying the surprises of life.
And we have to be one off them. There will be times when we will feel that its enough and we are losing it but that times stop think what you are doing take inspiration from people in this world who are suffering but still living in this world with the hope that one day they will reach their destination.
Remember don’t give up, move no matter how big is the problem don’t ever for get to smile, cause your smile will give inspiration to you to continue life without looking back....
Make a aim in life, live for it and achieve it.....

Whenevr the wind passes by, i feel ur touch on my eyes,

It seems as if u are comforting me in ur arms,

Seems as if u are saying smthn in my ears,

Seems as if u are around me, as if im not alone......

I feel incomplete without you,

days which we spent together were so precious for me,

me & u smiling...., me & u laughing,

u teasing me....., u kissing me............,

& me.......me hitting u & me loving u,

seems as if it was just yesterday u hugged me,

seems as if it was just yesterday that u kissed me.

I can’t forget that sweaty night when u and me were all alone,

i could feel ur fingers crawling on my back,

u squeezed me in ur arms,

ur touch.......so smooth, ur kiss......so soft........

i could feel ur heart beats,

i could feel u breathing on my face.......

so warm on that wintry night,

ur lips slowly touched mine and i got lost in my own fantasy.

Without u im lonely,

i feel ur soul in my body,

my mind knows the truth than

why my heart is denying this and my soul is defying me,

my eyes are numb, lips are dry & feet are dead,

waiting for u as the days pass by.

Why i feel that ur there with me?

why i feel that u will carry me in ur arms?

why my eyes r searching for u?

u r not holding my hand, so why my heart says that u are around me?

U have gone away from me.......away from my life,

than why my heart is not listening to my mind,

i searched for u evrywhre but there was no sign of ur existence,

i searched for u in the empty streets.......nothing but loneliness what i found.

Everyday i feel u, i miss u, i cry for u,

every moment ur memories pinch me,

u were gone & i was trapped in the 4 walls all alone,

i screamed, i fret ,i cried but u didn’t come,

it seemed as if u slipped away from my hands.......

the more i close my hands ,the more slips the sand;

u came into my life ,stayed for a while left ur footprints on my heart & turned my life upside down.....

i was never ever the same.

Ur love thats all im craving for,

love..........as pure as u & me.....

love..........as pure as first dew drop on a rose....

love...........as fresh as the fragrance of flowers,

im thirsty for ur love,

i wnt u to pamper me, i wnt u........just u to love me..........

Till then i wil be untouched ....just as u left me,

yes,i will wait ,wait till you come,

yes,i will wait ,wait till death.

Can’t our love break all the rules of nature?

can’t our love change everything?

yes our love cn’t defy the greatest creator,

then why did he snatched away my happiness....

why did he took u away from me...why....why.????

just one wish i can ask god for,

he won’t fulfil it it cause i know he can’t understand our love.

Everyday i pray to die,

life without u is just like-sky without stars, clouds without rains ,oceans without waves, face without smile,

i know u can’t come but still i will wait for u,

24 hrs,24 days,24 years whatever it be, i know u will come;

i pretend to be strong to this world bt i know how weak im without u.

People say hope never dies,

waiting for is my fate.......

so yes i will wait, wait till u come...........

yes i will wait, wait till death.